Dirk's Daily Reading

From the man who sings Hasselhoff hits to himself at the freethrow line, a dramatic reading of Oops, I Did it Again.

The Hoffsicle

Apparently The Hoff has now conquered Britain, as Del Monte has made a raspberry-flavored popsicle in his image (to celebrate National Ice Cream Month).

I don't even know where to begin...Let us know if you're in the UK and tried one. Better yet, send a photo!

Solving the Hasselhoff Mystery

Using our investigative powers, we set out to try to understand the rumored German love of David Hasselhoff. Most of our German friends (and the German press) say this is just a crazy American misconception about Germans. Even Der Spiegel writes about how "for years, Germans have been hoping that the world would forgive and forget" Germany's "love affair with David Hasselhoff."

Sure, it makes perfect sense that he has a place in the collective memory thanks to his Looking for Freedom song. It just came at the perfect time.

But it were only that one song, could he still support a tour today? Would the concertgoers all be 40 and 50-year olds reliving the nostalgia? If Germans really do like his music, why is that?

We set out to answer these questions for you. Our first stop was to fuel up with a dinner in his honor - hamburgers. Thank you, Hard Rock for having good American-style burgers and fries!

After our burgers and an Ayinger Helles to help prepare us for whatever was to come, we headed out to the Deutsches Theatre to see what The Hoff had for us. We were shocked to see so many young people standing out front, many with T-shirts (both bought and made), props, and costumes. And all of them were quite young - they definitely were not old enough to remember his 1989 Berlin Wall appearance! They were also overwhelmingly German. We didn't notice any other English-speakers, though I'm sure there were some.

These guys here were in a big group that had shirts made for the event, and the guys below came in Baywatch costumes, complete with scuplted foam pecs and abs. We also had someone wearing the California flag, a guy in a Baywatch shirt and lederhosen, and a group in Afro wigs....which I didn't fully understand, but I'm guessing they had leftover from a 70s party and thought it fit the occasion. No question, it was a very festive atmosphere!

And even KITT came along on the tour!  

 

I guess I've been in Germany too long now, as I was suprised when he still had not come on stage 15 minutes after showtime. The crowd alternated between chanting his name and singing - it was a lot like a football match, strangely.

After a lengthy intro video montage highlighting his career as The Most Watched TV Star in history, The Hoff came out to sing I've Been Looking for Freedom. After a couple of songs we were surprised by the energy level - with lights and costume changes on stage, and a crowd that sang along and danced to all the songs, it just stayed at a very high level.

We have The Hoff in a (vinyl??) tux, in leather fringed jacket, in Baywatch attire, in a turquoise suit, in a sequined jacket, and more!

They made heavy use of the side screens, especially for videos while The Hoff was changing costumes. Of course there was a Knight Rider one, where we watch his heroics as Michael Knight, rescuer of damsels in distress.

Here we have the Baywatch Montage, which includes a parade of Baywatch Babes (and shirtless guys, German is all about equal rights for women...) and ends with his cover of "California Girls."


He did perform his famous German-language song "Wir Zwei," a duet he famously performed with 13 year-old Gwen Obertuck in 1993. It's a very beautiful song about a father and daughter remembering the wife/mother they lost. You can see the original here on an old TV recording. This one brought out the sparklers and lighters:   

The sparklers came out again for his cover of "This Time Around." I think this is such a good song for him - his voice is very well suited to the cabaret type songs, and the lyrics of making the most of a second chance are so appropriate for him!
 

But mostly, the concert was just about having fun. It was in a smaller venue, so felt full and personal, and the crowd just had a great time dancing.
The Swiss guys next to us turned their banners and flags into limbo poles for the Limbo Dance Song. Yes, this song is unbelievably cheesy...but the guy taking iPhone video of himself while limboing cracks me up!

More importantly, we did discover the truth about Hasselhoff and the German-speaking world. And I think the man is brilliant. He can sing, though he'd never have a successful career based solely on his voice. But he's an entertainer and gives the crowd what they want. Why does he have a career here? There are several reasons: 

1) David Hasselhoff is the ultimate American Schlager star. Yes, I said it....Hasselhoff = Schlager. Even the Münchener-Merkur newspaper review drew those comparisons, calling him "a mixture of Boney M. and Hansi Hintersee on speed."

2) He covers the songs the crowd wants - In addition to California Girls, This Time Around, and Rhinestone Cowboy, he sang the one song every German can sing at karaoke - Country Roads.

3) His original songs are:

        a) very simple lyrics with repetition. They're written so that someone who has never heard the song before can sing along after the first verse.

        b) often based on other well-known German songs. This is a major tenet of my Theory of Hasselhoff in German/Austria.  I think he works here largely because he uses melodies and rhythms that already were successful and know as fun party songs. We know "I've Been Looking for Freedom" was based on a 70's schlager hit "Auf der Strasse nach Süden," but there are more.

           "Time To Rock the World" basically takes the chorus from "Hey, wir woll'n die Eisbärn sehn." It's a song from the 1990's that's become a popular après ski song and has been adopted by many sports teams. Check out the two:
Hasselhoff's "Time To Rock the World":

Compared with the Puhdy's 1997 "Hey, wir woll'n die Eisbärn sehn." (translation "we want to see the polar bears").

Hey, wir woll'n die Eisbärn sehn von Puhdys
© Puhdys-Videos bei Clipfish

And the song "You Are a Hero" off his upcoming album sounds suspiciously similar to YMCA....so much, in fact, that the crowd did the YMCA motions!

There were a few others that were strangely familiar to us, but we couldn't place the specific songs. Sure, it's derivative...but this is what makes a Hasselhoff concert fun. You can go in not knowing any of his songs, and you will feel like you did know them after all. It's very accessible.  

4) The songs are all upbeat and positive. Germans may have a rep for being less than optimistic, but they like their songs to be positive and happy!

5) And finally, he brings a little of the crazy, carefree good aspects of American culture. Everyone loves a little Vegas in their life, and he brings Vegas to his shows with the dancers, themes, costume changes, and yes, even a pole dancer.

And of course he closes the sets with "I've Been Looking For Freedom," wearing the same piano key scarf he wore in 1989.

Overall, we were really surprised. By the crowd....their unwaning enthusiasm, their costumes, the bras thrown on stage (who knew that was done here???), and their rule breaking (sparklers, and sneaking in beer bottles).....and also by The Hoff himself. We thought it would be a fun cultural experience, but we had a really great time. It was one of most fun concerts I've attended - it was a lot like a frat party, but with a guy on stage and a band and lights and stuff. Very casual and open. If he comes back, we're going again. But this time we'll have costumes.

The verdict: He may not be the best singer or have the most original songs, but Hasselhoff is an entertainer and he puts on a great show. As for the purported German love affair with The Hoff...well, it's complicated...those who were old enough to remember having to listen to his song(s) EVERYWHERE in the late 80s find the memory of being forced to listen to him painful. To the younger ones, his music is more of a kitschy, fun thing. That's enough to pull off a small tour each year, but you won't be seeing him high on the charts. Will be interesting to see how his new album sells.    

BTW....What Does Hasselhoff Sing?

Since we're going to his concert tonight, this is a question we needed to answer. We really didn't know. I know he had a big song around the fall of the Berlin Wall and I know Dirk Nowitzki admitted in an interview that he often sang a Hasselhoff song in his mind at the freethrow line....but I hadn't actually ever heard The Hoff sing.

To start you off, there's a montage of his appearances and "hits" throughout the last 20 years. Amusing and it won't hurt too much (except when you remember some of your old fashions and hairstyles from that time):
                        

When you're feeling braver, there's the video to "Hooked On A Feeling," which I love for it's absolute cheesiness factor. Off the charts! Perhaps it's aimed at a German audience - I'm not sure otherwise how to explain the random dachshunds and Alps. Though the flying angels and flying Hoff are a nice touch. We have aliens, African villagers, and the Hoff in both macho-motorcycle-man and suave tuxedo attire...what else could you want?
                        

And the song that started it all in Germany, "I've Been Looking For Freedom." I can see why it caught on in the time that it did. Here's Hasselhoff singing it at the Brandenberg Gate in Berlin on New Years Eve 1989. This German TV video is amazing on so many levels - for one, you see the Wall still up by Brandberger Tor and the excitement of the crowd. And then you see the full late 80's Hoff...complete with piano key scarf and leather jacket light show.  Also, as we saw in Munich this New Year's, Germans bring their own fireworks - and aren't afraid to shoot them at people or monuments.  He dodges one around the 1:50 mark.
                        

I'm guess this song was first played in Germany because it was a remake of another 1970's German song, "Auf der Strasse nach Süden" by Tony Marshall.  Hasselhoff gave it completely new words, but it was a already familiar tune to many when its new words of freedom helped it rocket up the German charts to #1.

If you're real masochist, here are links to a few other Hasselhoff hits:
"Crazy For You" Video (best described as The Hoff on a motorcyle, on a roller coaster, and with another dachshund)
Top 10 Hasselhoff Hits (in under 2 minutes)
"Secret Agent Man" Video (the 2nd comment on YouTube says it all "David, this is HOFFULL")
"Jump In My Car" Video (only available in US)

This guy has a good sense of humor - he seems to know that his cheesiness sells, not his talent, and he uses it. And he knows that he was in the right place at the right time to become a star in Germany. He was very successful in Austria in the mid-1980's and having the #1 song (about freedom) at the time the Berlin Wall fell won him a place in many German's hearts for decades. He still tours here every year, with his daughters opening for him. This year, he's having The Hoff Is Back Tour

Tonight is going to be wonderful or wonderfully horrible. Either way, it will be a fun cultural experience!

David Hasselhoff Gummi Art

Remember how we said we were trying to broaden our horizons and also experience everything Germany has to offer? That's right, we're going to see David Hasselhoff in concert tomorrow night!

And for dinner, we're having burgers!

Bears & Friends' buxom Playgirls and Playboys (plus some paint) are perfect for Baywatch!

The burgers above are Trolli MiniBurgers, complete with marshmallow bun and cheese, and gummi burger and lettuce, individually packaged in a burger box.