German Beer Wars: Helles Surf & Turf

 Coming back to the German Beer Wars, we move on to a promising round of Helles beers. Here we have Munich power Spaten against Weihenstephaner, the oldest operating brewery in the world and an asset of the Free State of Bavaria (yes, another reason Bavaria and Texas are long lost cousins). And then the unknown to us Hubauer Urhell vs Tegernseer, the favorite of many locals.

 

We weren't sure what to predict with this tasting...We had only had Spaten at Oktoberfest (and I used to drink Spaten Light at Stan's on Greenville!) and I'd never had Weihenstephaner. The Spaten was a typical Helles - light and drinkable, but nothing noteworthy. The Weihenstephaner, however, had more depth to it than the Spaten and was just a more enjoyable taste. Thus it advanced to face the winner of the night's other game.

Then we had the long-awaited contest...Many here consider Tegernseer to be the best Helles and the best beer in the greater Munich area (Tegernsee is a beautiful lake area a little less than an hour south of Munich). But it's not widely marketed, doesn't have associated restaurants in Munich, and isn't available everywhere. It's mainly known by reputation and word of mouth, rather than any real marketing efforts.

Hubauer Urhell was one we'd never heard of before, and it cost €0.39 for a 500mL bottle. (Most German beer here is €0.59 or €0.89, for comparison, and imports around €2). It was unbelievably cheap, so we weren't sure how it would compare with the others.

The Hubauer was shockingly good - I tasted it first (blindly, as always) and assumed it was the Tegernseer. However, then I tasted the next, and it was perfectly balanced, mild, and super drinkable. THAT was the Tegernseer. Unfortunately for the Hubauer, it was up against what likely will be one fo the top beers in the tournament. Otherwise, it would have advanced past the first round. Just bad luck to be playing against a top seed!

In the Weihenstephaner vs Tegernseer matchup, Tegernseer won the Sweet Sixteen berth. It just tasted better and was very light and enjoyable. I can picture drinking it on a warm afternoon on a patio overlooking the lake.

And for fun, we paired the Helles with a tasty (and low carb) surf and turf. Herr J found some gorgeous French lobster (the ones with no claws), filets, and made his famous feta-stuffed peppers.  Delicious!

Doggie Parking

Living in Munich makes me want to get a dog. It's a great city for being outside, and for travelling around with a dog. They're allowed almost everywhere....on the subway, in restaurants, in bars, and in stores. You can spend a lot more time here with your dog while going about daily life.

And, in general, dogs in Germany are EXTREMELY well-behaved - to the point where many people take them out without being on a leash. It always amazes me to see a dog quietly sitting in a restaurant and not trying to get table scraps. And I hear drunk soccer fans much more often than I hear dogs barking. I guess society here has somehow created a perfect set of rules here...dogs are accepted almost everywhere, as long as they are well-trained. Maybe it's that dog owners here take training very seriously (there are endless dog training schools here), or maybe it's that the bad dogs just are kept home?? Whatever is the key, it works.

Except, you can't take your dog into the grocery store or some butchers. Instead, they have a dog parking zone, with water and sometimes kibbles. This guy is patiently waiting for his owner to return, sitting calmly between the chocolates and the steak bar. Amazing.

Gag Gift Season

OK, Christmas is over.  The season of giving is gone, but that means the end of some holiday stress too, so it's not all bad.  We usually want Christmas gifts to be heartfelt and thoughtful -- hence not knowing what to get someone, the ensuing procrastination, and eventual panic attack on Christmas Eve in the mall with 20,000 other shoppers.  Luckily, other holidays & occasions throughout the year (e.g., birthdays, office events) actually can be more fun for the giver... especially when involving gag gifts.  So now that we're in 2011 it's time to prepare some prank presents for your loved (hated?) ones this year!

You know that person who loves his/her cups o' joe, yet repeatedly claim "I'm addicted to coffee, I need to cut down"?  Riiight.  This is for them.

Empty, the toilet coffee cup has a charm of its own.  But fill it with a light brown liquid and it reaches a higher plane.

The 12-ounce size doesn't discourage consumption, but think of the "plop" sounds when sugar cubes are dropped in...

For your resident Twilight or Trublood freak, forget the movie posters.  Give 'em what they think they really want: a fake IV bag with drinkable "blood".  The seller says it's "energy drink" inside (vs. fruit punch flavored sugar water?).  But do we really want to give crazy Edward/Jacob fans more energy?  Why not put cherry Nyquill in there???

Heck, make the gift a full six-pack of fake Type B!  But watch the reaction very closely... your vampire wanna-be just might enjoy the experience a bit too much.  The seller says you can heat up the product to "enhance the experience"... that's a bit scary, huh?

So fake blood is passe?  Let's up the ante a bit.  Who wants a scorpion pop!  Yup, these treats contain an honest-to-goodness crunchy arachnid inside.  Every bit (technically) is fit for human consumption, and they come in assorted flavors and scorpion species!

The seller's ad copy is funny:  "Since we believe in truth in advertising, someone at Stupid.com had to actually eat one so we could describe it properly. The boss was elected since he's the only one with health benefits. Though it is hard to describe, we CAN tell you that it DOESN'T taste like chicken."  Alternate uses could be:  fraternity pledge requirements, fraternity dares, heck, anything involving intoxicated fraternity guys.

Let's get back to a classic gift:  the wall calendar!  You can find them with adorable dogs, Ansel Adams photos, city skylines... but wouldn't your friends rather have Her Majesty's Prisons of England adorn the cubicle?  Each month has a photo of "twelve stupendous slammers including four bonus Welsh nicks".  This is, after all, "England's fastest growing industry".  Love the UK humor.

You may also choose from the more pedestrian "Best of British Roundabouts" & "The Birmingham Outer Circle 11 Bus Route" calendars (on the same web page).  Other options are the Extraordinary Chickens calendar, or the 2011 Bunny Suicides Calendar (the illustrator needs anti-depressants, I think.)

Finally, for your old buddy who thinks he's the next Tiger Woods (perhaps in more ways than one), it's time for him to man up.  It's time to tee off using camouflage golf balls.

It's a new idea on the trick golf balls that explode on impact or won't roll straight when putted.  Unfortunately, it's the most fun when used on people that find it the least funny... know what I mean?

Signs of the Apocalypse

Farmville for Dummies:

Available February 2011 (or for preorder on Amazon)

Sadly, this will probably sell a million copies. Though I didn't realize Facebook games needed 288 pages of instructions and strategy...

 Ed Hardy Crossstitch:

I'm just perplexed by this one. When I make a mental Venn diagram of people who cross stitch and people who like Ed Hardy, I just see two circles with a lot of space between them. Maybe Grandma is cross stitching Ed Hardy as a gift for the grandkids??? I just can't wrap my head around how this product works.  Ed Hardy does have some beautiful designs, but that is unfortunately overshadowed by who adopted the shirts and hats as their daily wardrobe.

Die Feuerzangenbowle

The cookies and cakes are only a small part of the German Christmas Market traditions. The drinks are also pretty important - all designed to warm your hands and your insides on a cold night out.

Most stands will serve Glühwein (mulled wine), Glühwein mit Schuss (with a shot of rum or liqueur), and Kinderpunsch (non-alcoholic Glühwein). And sometimes we'll find hot cider, mead, and other variations on Glühwein.  In Munich, cocktails have become quite trendy in the past couple of years - not surprising that this year hot caipirinhas ("Heiße Caipis") showed up in many Christmas Markets.

My favorite, however, is the Feuerzangenbowle. I think it tastes better (like a less sweet, more alcoholic Glühwein) and since it involves fire, it's also pretty cool.

The word translates as "Flaming Tongs Punch," refering to the tongs that hold a sugar cone over the bowl of mulled wine. The sugar cone is soaked in rum, and flaming rum poured over it, dripping caramelized sugar and hot rum into the mulled wine. Delicious!

Many Christmas markets will have a Feuerzangenbowle stand, or people often make it at home for parties during Christmas and New Years. Here in Munich, the English-speaking community refers to the drinks as "Pots of Evil," a very appropriate name given their taste and potency!

 

Here in Munich, we have the World's Largest Feuerzangenbowle, which luckily lasts beyond the Christmas Markets until Epiphany (January 6th). The giant bowl holds up to 9,000 liters of punch. It's set up inside the Isartor, one of the gates from the old city walls. As usual, there are also a few stands serving bratwurst, french fries, crepes and other standard festival fare.

 They project on the walls the movie "Die Feuerzangenbowle," which is one of THE classic German films. Made in 1943 or 44, it's a sentimental story of school days and what makes life worth living...intended to be a morale booster in the final months of the war.

The film stars one of the most beloved German actors of all time, Heinz Rühmann, who made over 100 films from 1926 to 1993.

Today, it's kind of like the Rocky Horror Picture Show of Germany, where most people can quote some (or all!) of the movie today. Many universities have showings before the Christmas break, with props, drinking games, and other traditions. Definitely worth a watch if you can find it with subtitles. (Even if you watch it in German, use the German subtitles....between the sound quality and the old words and accent, it can be tough to understand).

 Feuerzangenbowle at Munich's Tollwood Festival

Many people recreate the experience at home, making Feuerzangenbowle and showing the movie.  

You can order the sets and sugar cones in the US from GermanDeli.com, and probably from other German food sites. They have a good recipe and instructional video in the product details.

Either make your own mulled wine from scratch, buy it premade in bottles, or you can also buy the premixed spice packages to just add to a bottle of wine.

RECIPE
2 bottles of Merlot or Burgundy wine (a dry red wine might be too bitter)
4 thin slices of orange with the peel on
4 thin slices of lemon with the peel on
Juice of 2 fresh oranges
Juice of 2 fresh lemons
½ tsp fresh orange rind
½ tsp fresh lemon rind
4 Cinnamon sticks
1 sugar cone (Zuckerhut)
1 cup (approximately) of Rum (must be 151 proof Rum, or it won't flame)

Equipment:
1 heat and flame-proof Punch Bowl (ideally glass)
1 Stainless Steel Bridge, if not already part of your punch bowl set
Long match or lighter

Directions:
In a large pot add both bottles of wine and all ingredients except the sugar cone and the rum. Simmer the wine and fruit and spices over low heat for about 15 minutes. Don't boil the wine. The wine should be hot but not scalding. If you are using GermanDeli's flame/heat-proof glass punch bowl, carefully add the hot wine (with fruit, cinnamon, etc.) to the punch bowl. With your guests gathered around, place the punch bowl in a dimly-lit room. Light the candle below the punchbowl to help keep the wine warm. Place the stainless steel bridge across the top of the punch bowl. Unwrap the sugar cone and place it on the bridge. Slowly pour the 151-proof rum onto the cone, rotating the cone until it is soaked with the rum. Light the sugar cone with the match or lighter. The sugar cone will dissolve as the burning rum heats up the cone. The caramelized sugar will drip into the punch to sweeten it and the rum will enhance the flavor.

recipe via GermanDeli

Cool Gingerbread Houses

I'm inspired to try some modern gingerbread houses next year. Or maybe for a Christmas in July party?

Falling Water Gingerbread House:

via Quilting Craft Gossip 

The Wedge House:

via ArchDaily 

Fenway Park: 

Notre Dame: 

National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception (Washington, DC):

 
I love the icicles...they remind me of the ones on St Bart's in New York after Christmas. 

 via MightyGirl

St. Basil's on Red Square: (I think...)

via BuzzFeed

And, while not a building, the Gingerbread Serenity is pretty clever!

via Geekosystem

Update on Friday, January 14, 2011 at 15:28 by Frau A

And then there's the original gingerbread house...the one the witch built to trap Hansel and Gretl. I never quite made that connection until I saw these gingerbread houses in Nürnberg. Not only do they have a picture of the old lady inviting a boy and girl in, they're even labeled "Hexenhaus," which means "Witch's House."

 

A Southern, deep-Fried Christmas

Herr J and I spent Christmas with my family in coastal South Carolina.

Every family has its own traditions, but deep frying the Turkey has become quite popular for Thanksgiving and Christmas in the South. Not only is the turkey tasty and juicy, but the process is fun. To put it in man-friendly terms, there is fire, hot oil, drinking outdoors, and the potential for serious injury and/or property damage. So, who wouldn't love it?

 

The Setup:

To fry a turkey, you need a couple of things...a huge pot with a propane burner, peanut oil, thermometer, and a rack or basket for the turkey.

For safety, it's also best to have an outdoor non-flammable surface and heavy gloves.

And for enjoyment, a couple of soccer-mom chairs and some adult beverages.

Step 1:
Heat the oil until it reaches 350°.

Because different sized turkeys will displace different amounts of liquid, you'll want to measure how much oil to use. Using too much will cause a spill (and an unpleasant oil fire), and too little will also be a problem. Dad's brilliant method is to test it with your turkey and water to determine the correct amount to cover the turkey. He then removes the turkey, marks the correct water level, and refills the pot with oil up to the mark.  

See here for videos demonstrating exactly why you don't want the oil to overflow...or why not to fry on your deck. ("7 Best Deep-Fried Turkey Disasters")

Step 2:

Best to marinate the turkey the night before - here he used butter and spices. Some people put a rub under the skin or use injectors to inject spices into the turkey. We prefer our turkey to taste like turkey rather than spices, so we went with the simpler method.

Place turkey on the turkey frying rack. Carefully lower into boiling oil.

 Step 3:

Continue to cook (covered, keeping the oil around 325°F) until a meat thermometer reads 170° F in the breast and 180° F in the thigh. It should take around 3 minutes per pound for a whole turkey. Then carefully remove turkey, cool a few minutes, and serve.

Along with the turkey, we usually have prime rib, collards, spiced peaches, rice, green beans (the only green vegetable I would eat as a child...now I also eat asparagus), dressing, gravy, sweet potatoes, and biscuits. And a table full of wonderful homemade desserts....German Chocolate Cake, pecan pie, pound cake (my aunt make the best pound cake in the world!), sweet potato pie, this year's new feature Lemon Coconut Spice Cake, and whatever other cookies or candies people have given us for the holidays. And then we go into a food coma watching football....

What are your Christmas dinner traditions?